The Wedding
The official wedding was scheduled for Thursday and Friday. Three major events occurred on these two days: 1) The exchange of rings between the boy and girl on Thursday night 2) the Muhurtham on Friday morning, which was the religious ritual portion of the wedding, and 3) the Reception on Friday evening. Unlike Western weddings, there are no rehearsals.
On Wednesday morning, which was bright and sunny, wedding preparations were already underway. A banana leaf veranda adorned with flowers was constructed in front of the bride's home and the front door of the bride's house was framed by giant garlands of flowers.
An auntie told me that just as the bride's side was performing activities in her home today; the groom's side was likewise performing activities in his home. The families on both the bride and groom's side had been eating vegetarian for at least 15 days prior to the wedding. All the women on the bride's side were now dressed in their finest silk saris of traditional design. The bride was dressed in a sari which reminded me of the colors of a sunrise. Of what I could 
gather, the bride asked for blessings from the altar of her grandparents and performed puja in their family altar room. A giant stone mortar was brought out into the kitchen and turmeric and other grains were pounded throughout the course of the morning in the kitchen by the women.
gather, the bride asked for blessings from the altar of her grandparents and performed puja in their family altar room. A giant stone mortar was brought out into the kitchen and turmeric and other grains were pounded throughout the course of the morning in the kitchen by the women.
For some reason, the Bangle Fitting for the morning was a couple hours delayed. Once it commenced, the Bangle Dealer carefully fitted the bride with the glass bangles she would wear for the duration of the wedding while family members watched from either side. After the bride's bangles were selected, each woman on the bride's side was also fitted with glass bangles for the wedding. At some point during the fitting, the women on the boy's side arrived to be fitted as well.
A catered lunch (where servers walk by placing portions of food on your 'aak') was then served on the rooftop of the bride's home. The cooks had arrived and started preparing the lunch since the night before and all that morning.
That afternoon, before leaving for the Exchange of Rings, the bride and her party (including myself) walked from her home to a small temple nearby and asked for the priest's blessings. From there, she hopped into a car decorated with roses to the Wedding Hall, the rest of us following in our own vehicles. The wedding hall was a vast room close to the size of a football field and housed a kitchen and dining area along with small rooms on the sides to accommodate the bride and groom's families (segregated of course). This was the place where the rest of the wedding events would occur.
An instrumental group played Indian wedding music near the entryway where a bronze Ganesha sat to greet guests. A banana leaf enclosure for the events was constructed on the stage at the front. The bride's clothing seemed to become more exquisite now, with more hairpieces and attachments, including a gold belt. Her sari reminded me of the bright blue sky.
Three hours after we arrived, the ceremony still had not started. Unfortunately, I was hit with an intense case of fatigue from jet lag and was driven home by my driver before the events began.
Friday Morning: the Muhurtham
The Muhurtham, no matter what, was to take place between 9:30 and 10:20 am as dictated by the astrologer at the time the wedding was arranged. This was the most auspicious time for the boy and girl to be wed and if it was missed, the whole wedding would have to be rescheduled until another auspicious time could be found. The boy's side had gone to a nearby temple and I believe that during this time, it was the bride's family who had to go and fetch him to keep him from "running away".
Once he and his party walked in, the music seemed to become lively; he looked like a prince in his traditional clothing. He and his party walked to the stage and stood under the banana leaf enclosure, awaiting his bride. Members of the bride's family held up a white cloth before his eyes to prevent him from seeing her. Once the bride arrived, they stood facing each other for quite a while while rituals by the priest took place. It was a feeling of being so close, yet so far! The bride's sari was a pure white color with gold trim, the same as the grooms. The exact process of the wedding ritual requires a lot of further study on my part since there were many procedures involved. This included a lot of kum kum (the red powder which I will explain in another email) and bathing the feet of the bride and groom, and the parents of the groom. Eventually they were wed, rice was thrown on them, and well over 600 people queued up to shower each with flowers and pour milk over the coconut they were mutually holding.
The Reception
Between 1200-1600 people attended the wedding reception. For the newlyweds, that meant standing on the stage for at least 3-4 hours in front of the cameras and lights as a neverending queue of parties awaited their chance to have their photos taken with them. Srinath was moving about doing a marvelous job of managing the dinner and greeting guests. They had only anticipated 800-1000 guests and so there was a potential shortage of food; he had his hands quite full with that.
The guests had an easier time of it, chatting with friends and listening to Carnatic music, which enhanced the mood of the reception to a something of a lively and peaceful feel. Eventually, by 11 pm, the guests all left, some taking a favor which was a bag with a plantain, a leaf, and a coconut inside.
Describing the proceedings of this wedding alone took a bit of writing without much space for my personal reflection; there were so many levels and aspects which I did not describe. The religious significance and role played in this wedding for one, and the role of the bride's family in this wedding. In a Hindu wedding, it is the bride's family who pays all expenses for the wedding and arranges all details of the event, down to the utensils. I was told somewhat tongue-in-cheek, "All the groom's family has to do is show up." Most members of the bride's close relatives participate in some way. Kavya and Danya told me the family's "close relatives" include about 400 people; distant relatives are counted somewhere in the thousands. Maintaining such large ties requires a lot of caring, a lot of effort, and a lot of heart, all of which this family gave to me in ample abundance. With my time in India now fading into the past, their love remains as the most beautiful and tangible thing I will remember and keep with me for a long time to come.
